I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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