We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
