I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize