You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
