i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
