I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
