gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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