Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
