She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
