What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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