I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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