Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
