I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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