That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
