Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
