Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
