Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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