if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
