Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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