i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
