Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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