I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
