He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
