Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
