You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
