i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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