i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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