You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
