remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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