you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
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The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
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Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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