I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
