Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
