I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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