Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
