Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
