I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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