Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize