so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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