this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
