Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
