I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
