Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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