I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
