dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Enjoy the penises
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
