Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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