I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Houston, we have a squirter
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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