there's paper in my vomit.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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