I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
