I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
