she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
