I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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