Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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