i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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