this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize