Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
