beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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