in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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