I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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