Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
