Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize