You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
