for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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