I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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