I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Best friends brother. Beat that.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
